Friday, November 13, 2009

The Kessler Theory of Accelerated Maturation
For Veteran's Day

I received the following email:

On the day my grandson graduated from GWU, we visited the Vietnam Memorial where, as we always did, we stopped to study for a moment the name "Gerald Pearlstein" who had been [a student] in my confirmation class at Temple Jeremiah. Gerald was a helicopter pilot on Rescue Duty when his aircraft was hit by enemy fire.

Survivors reported his desperate efforts to save the craft and give his men time enough to get out. Some did --- Gerald didn't and he died at age 20. Age 20. An officer in our Army and responsible for equipment costing multi-millions and, above all, responsible for the lives of his crew. At age 20.

I believe I was walking with Steve when I first remarked upon the irony of attending the graduation of young men and women ---average age 22--- just starting out into our world after visiting the memorial for another group of young people --- who had finished their journey into our world.

It was then that I was struck with the amazing resiliency of our human condition --- the ability to return from a traumatizing experience and adjust---- or re-adjust --- to the relatively peaceful environment in which we live. Thus was born the Kessler's Theory of Accelerated Maturation in which the normal linear maturation process is replaced by rapid imposition of responsibilities and this, in turn, creating a condition that makes the removal of these responsibilities a major problem.

Consider the rubber band which has a capability of being stretched to a given size. When that rubber band is over-stretched and kept in that condition for an extended period of time, it will never return to its original shape and may even lose some of its elasticity. So it seems to be with the human mind and this consequent ailment that we identify as Post-traumatic Stress Syndrome is the result of trying to find the way back to an original shape.

We speak of a growing fiscal deficit and the debt it will impose on future generations. I believe a greater debt will be to those who have served in wars that lack obvious and understandable purpose. We must find a way to lesson the pain for the returning veteran and his immediate family.

I ask of each of you a simple undertaking ---- be of those who don't let your normal shyness or reluctance to approach strangers stop you from saying "thank you" to one or more serviceman or veteran that you pass in the street or in a store or anywhere. Just say "thanks". It will do wonders for you.


Okay, it's PepGiraffe again.

The above email was a response and introduction to another email that you might have already received with the subject "When a Soldier comes home - to honor our men and women in the military." The original email was written by CPT Allison L. Crane, NR, MS. The email interspersed pictures of soldiers going about their (difficult and dangerous) daily lives with some reactions that a soldier might have when he or she returns home and finds civilians who have problems dealing with "regular" life. You can see the full thing if you click on the post title.


WHEN A SOLDIER COMES HOME

When a soldier comes home, he finds it hard....

...to listen to his son whine about being bored.

...to keep a straight face when people complain about potholes.

...to be tolerant of people who complain about the hassle of getting ready for work.

...to be understanding when a co-worker complains about a bad night's sleep.

...to be silent when people pray to God for a new car.

...to control his panic when his wife tells him he needs to drive slower.

...to be compassionate when a businessman expresses a fear of flying.

...to be grateful that he fights for freedom of speech.

...to keep from laughing when anxious parents say they're afraid to send their kids off to summer camp.

...to keep from ridiculing someone who complains about hot weather.

...to control his frustration when a colleague gripes about his coffee being cold.

...to remain calm when his daughter complains about having to walk the dog.

...to be civil to people who complain about their jobs.

...to just walk away when someone says they only get two weeks of vacation a year.

...to be happy for a friend's new hot tub.

...to be forgiving when someone says how hard it is to have a new baby in the house.

The only thing harder than being a Soldier...

Is loving one.

A gentle reminder to keep your life in perspective.

And when you meet one of our returning Soldiers, please remember what they've been through and show them compassionand tolerance.




The parts in green weren't in the email I received, but were in the original, so I added them.

Directly after receiving this email, I got an email on a different email account, asking me to give to the USO. So I did. In fact, there are a lot of organizations you can give to that support our troops either while they are away or after they return. These are just the ones I got from Charity Navigator.

The USO

Army Emergency Relief

Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society

Air Force Aid Society

Special Operations Warrior Foundation

Operation Homefront

Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors

Disabled American Veterans Charitable Service Trust

Fisher House Foundation

Homes for our Troops



One of the responses to the "Kessler Theory" email is as follows:

I think of Jerry often when thoughts of the Vietnam War come up or randomly when I hear of another loss in Iraq or Afghanistan, as he was in my Confirmation class. We were not particularly friends, but as we in our Confirmation class literally grew up together, there is and was an unspoken comradery. I do, by the way, often stop GI men and women in uniform and simply say "thank you for serving." Every one of them is appreciative.

Because of the extended times of service in Iraq and Afghanistan and because of multiple redeployments, our service-people are undergoing stresses unknown in Vietnam, though perhaps the nature of fighting a local population is familiar. I suggest that we each write to our Congress-people and ask for additional services for our returning Vets, for a streamlining of a cumbersome V.A. system, and -- dare I suggest -- a return of the draft so that all of our country serve and all become invested in ending useless engagements.

If you would like to follow that advice, get information on how to write congress here.

Monday, November 09, 2009

Red Letter Sunday (Hurrah!)

I started this post on October 19th and didn't finish it, so I am going to break it up into bits and post it now and later. That way, the work won't go to waste.


I had a fantastic yesterday. I got so much done, it was ridiculous. I don't think I mentioned this, but last month (two months ago?), I got a dresser. I have been wanting a new dresser for a very long time because my old dresser was a cheaply made put together piece of rubbish that had cardboard bottoms that were falling apart.

I searched for months. I decided almost immediately that I would not get a new dresser. I wanted a really nice dresser that wasn't old fashioned looking and I wasn't willing to pay full price for the quality I wanted. Look, if I were made of money, I would have gotten a custom made piece that was made to my specifications while simultaneously supporting the craft industry. But I'm not, so I didn't. And besides, it's better for the environment.

A lot of people told me to go to Ikea but I wanted something with a little style that was made from real wood; something that isn't described by, "it's very well made considering how much it costs." I haunted Craigslist for a long time before I found something I really liked. It was more expensive than I anticipated, but the woman that owned it *brought it to me,* which is a very big deal because it meant that I didn't have to hire a man with a van. AND, she and her boyfriend carried it into my bedroom.

Fortunately, I had the foresight to rearrange my room the way I wanted it well before they came. The new dresser was at least 50% bigger than my old one (with twice as many drawers) and all the extra room was in the length. I had pictured exactly where I would have it. Unfortunately, in spite of my Tetris* skills, I am not good at imagining spatial relationships in 3D space. When I moved my bed (with the great head/foot board that was half off at Overstock.com), it blocked the closet. Normally, something like that would put me in a panic, but I really didn't have time. The new dresser was coming in an hour.

It took me a couple of different configurations, but I did the best I could: I moved the bed so that it only blocked the lower half of my filing cabinet. Meanwhile, everything that had been where the bed now was, including all the clothes that I had taken out of the crappy dresser, had to be moved. Unfortunately, I didn't have anywhere to put them. And since the dresser would be going on the far wall now, instead of the near wall, I had to have a clear path all the way across the room.

Naturally, all my bedroom refugees (the clothing, et al.) ended up all over my apartment, in bags and boxes and covering every clear surface. I was a little disheartened, since I had just finished a five weekend project rearranging my living room. Well, finished isn't the word, exactly, but this definitely didn't help matters.

So all of that is background to say that I have been living in a huge mess. (This isn't a new problem. I still have the dot matrix poster that my sister made for me using Print Shop with a bomb on it overlaid by text that read "Please Say the Sh'ma Before Entering as This Room has been Declared a National Disaster Area.") And I didn't get the dresser this weekend, I got it last month, I just haven't had the drive/will power/stamina to do anything about it because the problem was so massive. Also because I thought that I would be moving the desk to the living room and my dresser where the desk was and dresser again and rearranging the living room and it seemed pointless to fill everything up only to empty it again.

I finally decided that for the time being, everything would stay where it is.



*Tetris is a computer game where you fit shapes into each other.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Back in New York, After Halloween, After Naming

Howdy, Y'all. Wait. I mean, howdy all y'all. I never was very good at foreign languages.

I am back from Texas, where I had a wonderful time kvelling with family. My new niece is, naturally, adorable. I think I will call her Bluebonnet, which is the state flower of TX (I was surprised at that as well). If there are any objections, let me know, and it is early enough to rename her. In real life, she is named after Uncle Al and Grandpa Leo. I never met Grandpa Leo, since he is the grandfather of Sylvia and died at a somewhat young age, but one of his daughters gave his biography at the naming and he sounds like a good man and one who is worthy of being named after. Uncle Al, of course, I know. He died after a long battle with cancer about a week before my sister and Bill got married in 1995.

Here is the kind of man my Uncle Al was. (Have I told you this story? If so, it is worth repeating.) Uncle Al was married to my Tanta Zelda. They went well together, for many reasons, the least of which being that they went from A to Z (Al to Zelda). He was a calm man, and solid, an engineer who worked with the government. My Tanta Zelda is more flamboyant, a New Yorker through and through (she moved to CA in the 1940s or 50s and still has the accent) and a wonderful dresser. First person on her block to get color TV. I'm trying to think of a good metaphor for them, but can't. The closest I can come up with is that they were like a kite and a kite flyer, not in the sense of one controlling the other, but in the sense that the kite is what you notice, but it needs the flyer to make sure it doesn't fly away. Something like that.

Anyway, we all knew the end was going to come at some point soon. I had flown home earlier than I needed to for the wedding, because I wanted to make sure I would see Uncle Al. He died when my dad and I were driving to L.A. so I could see him. After the funeral and shiva, and some time later, someone (my aunt, my grandfather?) went to Uncle Al's desk to begin the process of going through everything. He had always been charge of all the bills, all the finances, all of that kind of stuff. On top of everything, and to the right side of the computer, was a complete set of 1995 taxes that he had completed before he died. He didn't want my Tanta Zelda to have to worry about anything like that. That is the single most romantic gesture I have ever heard of, before or since.

In addition, Uncle Al was the only adult I knew who could program a VCR. So Bluebonnet has a lot to live up to, but knowing Jock and Syl (and Sunflower), I see no cause for concern.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

And We're Off

Normally, I don't start before Halloween, but better early than late. I have just gotten my sister's Channukah gift and also one for one of my nephews. I got my mom's gift while I was in Mexico. It's not a bad start.

In some EXCELLENT news, I now have a new niece. Although she has been named, I have not picked out a blog name for her. I'll give it some thought. The naming is this Sunday, so I am going to TX.

In NOT excellent news, Poppyseed broke her funny bone and had to have surgery to put in some temporary pins, but she will be fine and she can still come to TX with the rest of us.

Congrats to my Fish friends on their first child.

Last week's trivia did not go well. We'll see how tonight is.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Third is Better Than Eighth

That might not be true in all cases, but in this case it is.

Last week, our trivia team came in 8th out 12. Abysmal, due mostly to our lack of James Bond knowledge. This week, however, with two of our alternates filling in for two of our regulars, we fared much better.

The third place team gets its money back, so hurrah for that. Not as good as second, which we did the first week, but there are still seven or so weeks to go. Happily, we beat our rival team, The Broadway Brainiacs.

Special thanks to Adam, who is exceptionally knowledgeable about Marvel Cartoon Characters. And Sesame Street. On a personal note, this week's general knowledge round was my personal best yet. I thought everyone knows what a philatelist is.

Monday, October 05, 2009

Taiwan Demystified

A friend of mine from high school now lives in Taiwan. Actually, he is from Taiwan, but his family moved to the US at some point (he may have been in middle school?) and we've just reconnected through mutual friends.

He recently commented that friends from mainland China kept asking him if Taiwan has a day off for mainland China's national holiday. I repeatly told them that people typically don't take a day off and celebrate for being overthrown...

This statement totally confused me, so I asked from some clarification on the China/Taiwan situation. Here is what he said:

To PepGiraffe: Let's use United States and Confederate States of America in a fictional scenario... Imagine:
  • The Confederacy didn't want just to secede from the Union, they intended to replace the government in Washington DC and be the sole legitimate government of the land.
  • The Confederacy conquered all but State of New York
  • The Union Government, now in Albany, never relinquish the territorial claim of entire United States, even though in effect it only controls New York State.
  • While no ceasefire/armistice was ever signed, there has been no hostility for past 40-50 years.
  • New York State, being a lot wealthier, invested heavily throughout the Confederacy.
  • 1/3 of population in the Union (i.e. State of New York) want to "secede" from the Confederacy, 1/3 want to preserve the United States, and 1/3 just want to live their daily lives.
  • The Confederacy, on the other hand, claims that New York is just a renegade State, representing an unfinished business which will be resolved, hopefully peacefully, but with force if necessary.

That is essentially the story. :)

So tell me: is the Union and Confederate, under this fantasy scenario, a completely different country or not?

I asked him if it was ok to post his explanation on my blog and he said yes, with the caveat that he skipped a lot of historical background which would have helped to explain why people get very emotional about this. Although honestly, just the explanation he gave seems good enough for me.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

I bet coffee Jello would taste awesome.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

I Gave Blood, How About You?

I gave blood yesterday. I felt sick afterwards, but I got to eat all the snacks I wanted, which sort of made up for it. And, you know, maybe it helps with the repentance, prayer and charity thing.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Nobel Prizes are Not Given Posthumously

Since Nobel Prizes are not awarded posthumously, I was wondering what would happen if the person the committee had decided to give it to died right before it was announced (like an hour before).

Thursday, September 17, 2009

THIS Is a Thank You/Tzedakah Opportunity: Hazon

There are a lot of great organization out there and I wish I could give to each one that strikes my fancy. Over the past few years, I've gotten very lazy. I give to my synagogue and my alma mater and the Theater Development Fund, but besides that, I am mostly guided by whatever organizations my friends are running/walking/biking for. Part of this is because when I walked for Project Bread's The Walk for Hunger, my friends and family were very generous with me, but also because, as I said, I'm lazy. In fact, I think I am going to go donate to some organization right now. Wait a sec.

Okay, done.

Anyway, as a general rule, I get very nice thank you emails from people to whom I've given money to, but I think the one I got below is the best. It made me able to see what the experience was like a little bit and I feel lucky that I got to be a part of it, even if I wasn't there myself. Part of it might be just because I don't normally give to people who make a whole weekend out of it, but whatever the reason, I really appreciated it and I wanted to share it with you.



Dear sweet friends,

THANK YOU so much for supporting me, in so many ways, including financially, to succeed in my first ever New York Hazon Bike Ride! Thanks to the generous donations of family and friends, I have raised a total of $996 so far towards my goal of $1500. I'm almost there! I could not have done it without you.

The Ride weekend was a phenomenal experience. Over 4 days this past Labor Day weekend at a camp in upstate New York, I got to share in a deeply spiritual and lively community, complete with outdoor prayer services, fresh meals, keynote speakers, and group-building activities. With the encouragement of my team members, the support from all of you, and lots of water and bananas, I successfully completed my goal of 55 miles on the first day of biking, followed by an even more energetic 55 miles on the second day--bringing me up and over Bear Mountain, across two bridges, through one state line, and right into New York City.

Friday evening I had the privilege of attending a panel on “Peace, Partnership and Environmental Protection” about the Arava Institute for Environmental Studies. Hazon funds this Institute, which brings together Arabs, Americans and Israelis to collectively address agricultural and environmental issues facing the Middle East. Professor Tareq Abu Hamed is the first full time Palestinian staff living at the Institute with his family, focusing on Renewable Energy in the region.

The food at this conference was fresh, and amazingly local—peaches, plums, apples, kale, beets and more. Hazon funds Adamah, a Jewish farming fellowship for people in their 20’s, and more than once we got to eat the tasty produce from their organic farm in Northwestern Connecticut. Hazon now runs 32 Community Supported Agriculture programs across the US, the largest faith-based network of CSA’s in the country.

This weekend I rode farther than I’ve ever ridden in my life. I had the opportunity to connect with my co-workers at Teva, some who had just been hired for the Fall season less than a week before. The first day we cycled past farms, beside rivers, past blooming wildflowers, wild plums, and grazing cows, and sang for most of the way. The second day we climbed mountains and descended, the wind whipping in our faces, the Hudson below us.

I sang new and familiar songs, connected with new and old friends, laughed and swam. I am now inspired to cycle more, (and more carefully), to eat more local and fresh food, and to become more aware of all the beautiful blessings that surround me in nature and in my daily life. I feel so much more connected to this very powerful and uplifting community of people connecting Jewish values, environmental concern, and love of nature.

Thank you for having confidence in me, for encouraging me to share in this experience, and for giving me so much love my whole life.

If you want to find out more about Hazon, or to join me next year on the ride, please visit www.hazon.org.
And, for those of you who still want to donate, but haven’t yet, it’s NOT TOO LATE!! You can most easily go to my personal webpage to make a donation of as little as $18.

Love, and many blessings,

Emily


Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Eyelashes

There are over six thousand straight Jewish men in the New York area who mention in their profile that they have long eyelashes, mostly under the question "What do people notice first about you?"

There are two straight Jewish women in the New York area who mention their eyelashes with the same question. Is that weird?

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

OKCupid OK

I mentioned that I have been giving dating sites another go. I am not sure how to measure success, but I think it is pretty good.

I halted my subscription to jretromatch.com because they have not matched me with one person who is moderately attractive. I feel a little bit bad about it, but I'm not talking about almost-Adonis-like guys. I'm talking about I open up a profile and feel a little aghast. If I were very ugly, I would limit myself, but I'm not. I know that Shrek gets Fiona in the end, but those are special circumstances. She didn't go out looking for Shrek.

I haven't been all that impressed with Yahoo! Personals, but when I tried to quit, they offered me a discount, so I will pop in on them every once in awhile.

Right now, I am having the most success with OKCupid. Yesterday, someone emailed me with the subject of: Kirk or Picard and the note said, "Your answer could determine the course of our friendship." My first reaction? JACKPOT! I'll let you know if it goes anywhere.