Thursday, January 22, 2015

January Shower Brings blechh

Sylvia's sister is getting married next month and their aunt's gave her a wedding shower in New Jersey this party weekend. I took the bus to Pennsylvania and the Rivster, Poppy and I went to the Garden State for the festivities. Bette couldn't come with us as planned because she wasn't feeling well. This turned out to be ironic, because all three of us -and ten other people- picked up a norovirus there. But it was great seeing everyone.

Tuesday, January 06, 2015

Happy New Year, 2015

I spent the turn of the year in Pennsylvania with various family members. I helped Beernut with some homework, took Poppyseed to the movies,  sorted Pokemon cards with Peach, chilled with Rivster and Bill, brunched with Ace and Bette, and had, in general, a gay old time.

In other news, I've recently fell in love with the site Captain Awkward. There are a dozen fantastic things about it, but for brevity's sake, I shall pick just one and that one is the concept of the Darth Vader boyfriend.

“Luke, your dad is totally evil.”
“There’s good in him. I’ve felt it.”
“Luke, he blew up a planet just to make a point.”
“There’s good in him! I’ve felt it!”
“Luke, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but he severed your hand.  From your arm. He cut it off.”
“Dueling to the death is just how we relate. You wouldn’t understand it. Now that we both have prosthetic robot limbs, it’s only brought us closer together.”
“Luke, he lured your friends into a trap so that he could murder them in front of you. We had to be rescued by Ewoks. It was embarrassing.”
“Yeah, that was pretty bad, I admit! But there’s good in him! I’ve felt it!”
And then Luke is risking his own life to carry Darth Vader out of the Death Star before it explodes so he can look up on that swollen purple face and experience one shining moment of real connection that would justify everything he’s invested in this completely dysfunctional relationship and he’s like “See? IT WAS ALL TOTALLY WORTH IT!” and even R2D2 is like “Whatever, the Ewoks are having a dance party, and I just can’t talk about this with you even one more time. Have fun with your collection of Ghostly Jedi Father Figures.”

This is especially relevant to me right now because one of my friend's has a Darth Vader boyfriend and I really want to kick him in the head. And I very rarely want to kick anyone in the head.
That reminds me. I should really work on my flexibility. Because regardless of intentions, if one has to kick someone in the head, it's really best to be able to do so from a standing position. Boom!

Saturday, December 27, 2014


We are just past the winter solstice, and between Christmas and New Year's Eve and I'm going outside with sandals on. Unbelievable.

Looking forward to seeing Rivster, Poppyseed, and Peach tomorrow. We're going to see a friend of ours from high school who has kids the same age as those sobrinos.

Tuesday, December 02, 2014

Don't You Forget About Me

I was in Pennsylvania this past weekend for Thanksgiving. I usually spend all the time with the sobrinos and their parents, but I happen to quite like spending time with Ace and Bette (Bace? Abet?), so I made plans for them to pick me up on Sunday at noon and then we would do some shopping I wanted to do at the mall, and they would drop me off at the four o'clock bus.

While driving in the car, innocently making chit chat, I said something like, "I really need to get around to getting some make up. And someone to tell me what make up to get. And someone to put it on me." And Bette turns to me in total seriousness and says, "You're going to miss your bus." Since the bus wasn't leaving for the and a half hours, this confused me, but it shouldn't have.

Dr. Who has Whovians, Firefly has Browncoats. If make-up had a name for its uberfans, Bette would be one. An example, if you'll oblige me. After the shopping I'd set out to do, and lunch, we went to Sephora, which has what I've always felt to be an anxiety-producing number of options. We go up to the place where women are doing make overs (or whatever the soft sell version of that is) and Bette says to me, referring to the woman whose chair I'm about to sit in, "Oh, she's really good; she used to work at the Chanel counter." Did Bette know this because she was friends with this stylist? No, she just recognized her. /And the stylist recognized her back./

Anyway, we spent as much time as we had left there and there is talk of things for the eyes and the lips and the lids and brushes and day-to-night and smudging and smokey and whatnot and in the end, I look exactly the same, except much better.

Now l don't know how long I'll keep up with the make-up routine. The make over lady seemed to think I would fall in love with all things make-up and never go back, but I know better. I've been here before. No matter. For now, I kind of feel like Ally Sheedy at the end of The Breakfast club, when her character turns from goth moppet to regular girl with a headband and judicious application of mascara.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

I Am Totally Judging You

I was on the phone with a friend of mine the other day; she'd called for some advice. At the end of the call, she said, "Thank you so much. I wouldn't have called, but you're the only person I can talk to about this who won't judge me." What I wanted to say - but didn't! - was, "I'm totally judging you."

I'm actually very judgemental. The difference between me and most other people is that I don't usually judge people and find them wanting. I judge them and find them human. Not always. Sometime I judge them to be a [supply your own NSFW words here]. But I like people. I find them interesting.

Friday, November 07, 2014

Thought Experiment: Superpower T-1 #Gedankenexperiment

Imagine, if you will, that you develop a superpower as a child. The superpower is as follows: when you say a certain set of words, or phrase, the person you are with will leave. S/he won't disappear into a cornfield or anything, s/he would just get up and leave and stay away for a certain minimum amount of time. Say, an hour. After that time, he or she can come back, but doesn't have to. For example, if you say the thing that makes the postman leave, he probably isn't going to come back until the next day (we always had a male postal worker).

Sounds pretty cool. Some bully is bothering you, say the magic words, and BOOM, he has the unrelenting desire to get away from you. A thief tries to mug you? Ha! You've a trick up your sleeve indeed.

Now, here is the wrinkle (because nothing is ever easy): You don't know what the magic words are. They change. So you might be talking to your best friend, and you say a phrase and for what seems like no reason at all, that friend gets up and leaves. And if you know kids, this seems to happen a lot anyways.

So here is the thought experiment: How long is it before you stop talking?

Sunday, October 12, 2014

I Missed Yom KIppur

I didn't go to services this year; I was in the hospital. Then, when I was out if the hospital, I still wasn't well enough to go to work and I've yet to see a live sukkah.

It's not heart attack serious, but it looks like I'm moving into a new phase of the Crohns. A much worse phase. I'll try going to work tomorrow after my dr appointment. There is so much to do and not enough people to do it. I'm needed there.

Thursday, May 08, 2014


I loosely belong to three book clubs although there is one that I have only been to once.

Anyway, yesterday, I picked up (that is, e-sent to my Kindle) the science fiction classic Dune. There was enough time for me to actually buy a used version and have it sent to me, but it is over 800 pages long and I just don't have that kind of room.

In other news, I went to the gym yesterday for the first time in months and months. Now my legs hurt.