I love New York City. I fit in here better than I have ever fit in anywhere. I feel a lot less awkward here than I do in other places. I don't know what it is. New York isn't for everyone, I freely admit that, but it is for me. I love New York so much that I throw a party every year commemorating the day I moved to New York City, January 20th. This year, the party is on Sunday and, like before every party I throw, I am nervous. I can't pinpoint why I'm nervous, but I'm nervous. Anxious. Usually, it's because of a fear that only one person will show up. (One person is much worse than no people because with no people, you can just say that a bunch of people came and no one would know the difference.) But it definitely isn't that because I have a lot of people coming. Plus, that's the good part about having Jock and Sylvia and Ace in town - insta-guests (and Sunflower).
One reason I'm nervous is that evite did not tell people the end time of the party - just a start time. It doesn't seem like a big deal, but if I have over twenty people coming to my apartment simultaneously, I'm going to have a big problem. Another reason is that I have been so preoccupied with finding a new place to live (I'll blog about that later), that I haven't been thinking about the party at all. So instead of freaking out about it last week, and ironing out all the kinks, I am doing it with only two days to spare. And since I'm not going to give up going to services tonight, I only really have tomorrow to freak out. I need more time than that.
It's going to be twenty four degrees outside, so a coworker reminded me to have something hot at the ready for when people came in. Here's a little quirk about me you might not know: I don't drink coffee on a regular basis. In fact, I don't drink coffee to the extent that it didn't occur to me to serve it at my brunch until she said something. Besides, for my money, if it's cold outside, what you really want is (all together now) hot cocoa. Yum! This is especially fitting because someone else in my office gave me a Channukah gift of Ghirardelli hot chocolate mix (and Lindt truffles). Since I think of my New York Anniversary as an extension of the holiday season, it is fitting that I can use a gift I got. Anyway, that isn't the point. The point is that I have nothing to put the coffee or cocoa in. If I make the cocoa on the stove, it is going to be difficult to transfer it to mugs - very piecemeal. My coffee pot is small - 8 cups at a time (or is it four?). I don't want to spend the whole time making sure that there is enough coffee for everyone. I am going to spare you the boredom that I put my workmates through this afternoon about what I was going to do about the hot drinks situation. Finally, my friend who gave me the hot cocoa mix came up with a brilliant suggestion. Get the catering staff where I work to loan me two air pots (big thermoses) so I can make all the coffee and cocoa ahead of time. They said yes. Yay!
I haven't settled on decor. It is really too late to figure out what New York-themed decor really means, isn't it? I wanted to do something with my expired metrocards. Maybe make them into some sort of wall hanging. That will have to wait another year, I think.
Anyway, I have a whole bunch of issues like these that I have a day and a half to settle.
So here's the question that people have been asking me (and perhaps you are asking yourself): Why do I throw parties if they cause such agita? At first I said I don't know. Then I thought, "Well, it didn't occur to me not to throw parties." Finally, though, I remembered that I used to love throwing parties. It's so exciting to see everyone and to see how everyone will interact. I think that if I keep throwing parties, I will return to that place of really having fun putting it together. I mean, what am I really worried about? It's not like Page Six is going to give me a bad party review. Do I really need to worry that people won't have a good time? That's ridiculous. My parties are laid back; no one is coming to impress anyone else and there's nothing to lose. People make the party and I have a good mix coming.
Maybe I don't need to worry about it. Maybe it's going to be great. There: I feel better already.